Second Chances
by A Rogue Slayer
Summary: What if Buffy didn't meet Spike until after season 5? What if he wasn't the Big Bad he used to be? Don't they deserve a second chance? Complete!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Not mine. Dammit.

Spoilers: Mild season 5 spoilers

Premise: Alternate season 6. Forget everything you know about how Spike and Buffy met.

Distribution: Just let me know!

After trying to nail her new trick of throwing her stake in the air and catching it behind her back, Buffy gave up. It wasn't so much a trick as a boredom chaser. Lately the vamps just didn't want to come out and play. For the past two weeks, it had been dead quiet in the cemeteries, and not just in the obvious way. It gave her a feeling of foreboding. Nothing good ever came of change on the Hellmouth. As long as there were vamps and demons for her to kill, Buffy felt safe and normal. If there weren't, she was just a strange girl with a wood fetish who liked to spend too much time in cemeteries.

She was just about to call it a night when she saw a man slouched over, sitting on a headstone. 'Good spotting, Buff. If he'd been a snake he'd have bit ya. Or worse, a vamp. Well, no, vamps I can handle. Snakes, not so much.' She shook herself out of the internal musings to make her presence known to the oblivious man. He'd have been vamp bait, had there been any vamps to bait. "Hey, guy! Dontcha know it's not really safe in cemeteries late at night?"

He startled at her voice and spun around. 'Good one, mate. If she'd been a snake she'd have....' His own musings trailed off when he saw her. Petite and bouncy. And a little too comfortable in the odd environs. He shook his head. "Ah, well, could say the same to you. Little flit of a thing, you are." He gave her a warm smile as he slid the book he'd been reading inside his jacket pocket.

Buffy couldn't help but smile. 'Wow, what a cutie! Great accent. And look at those eyes. Pretty blue.....the glasses don't even make him look dorky. Who'd have known there was a guy who could really pull off glasses.....'

"Uh, you alright there?" He quirked a scarred eyebrow up.

Buffy blushed. "Oh, yeah. I just.....well, I sort of come here often.....uh, that doesn't really sound good, does it? Um, I just mean, I'm pretty familiar with the local folks, and I haven't seen you around before. You new to Sunnydale?"

The man stood and walked toward her. She marveled at the feline grace in his movements. He stopped a few feet in front of her. "Yeah, got here a couple of weeks ago."

Buffy nodded, trying not to be too obvious in casing this way hot guy. It was lucky for him that she was so absorbed; it allowed him his own perusal of her taut little body.

"And, uh, how do you find our little haven?" Buffy gave him a big smile. 'Why am I fawning over this guy like he's the high school quarterback?'

He shrugged and looked around as if he were evaluating. "Not too bad. Definitely seen worse. It's got nice...." He looked at her as he cocked his head to the side and pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth. ".....scenery." 'What are you doing, ya git? She's far from the first pretty face you've seen here.'

Buffy blushed redder, if that were possible. "Um, well....."

He stiffened. "Then sometimes the scenery gets downright ugly."

Buffy's eyes flew to his face, shocked at what he was implying. When she found he wasn't looking at her, but beyond her, she sighed, then turned on instinct.

Two vamps were making their way towards them, looking for all the world lucky bastards who had stumbled upon a couple of snacks.

"Oh yay! Finally!" Buffy exclaimed, then turned back towards the man who was giving her a strange look. "Um, ok, I know this will sound weird coming from a 'little flit of a thing', but you really need to go."

He frowned, then a smile slowly crept across his face. "Well, believe it or not, I think I can handle myself. Probably as well as you can."

"Uh, look, I'm not sure that you understand what exactly is about to happen here, so really, really, I gotta recommend that you skedaddle to somewhere that's not here."

He now had a cocky grin on, keeping a wary eye on the approaching vamps. "Can't rightly call myself a gentleman if I just leave you to the wolves, can I?" He quickly slipped off his glasses and put them in a case he pulled from his coat's inner pocket pocket.

"These aren't wolves, ok? They're much worse than wolves. They're....." She shook her head, searching for an answer.

He brushed past her and called over his shoulder. "Dust?"

As soon as the larger vampire engaged the man in a fight, Buffy shrugged her shoulders and went after the smaller one. The scuffles were brief, and when the dust settled, quite literally, she cast a questioning look to him.

He smiled. "I guess this means you're the Slayer?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. "And this would make you......?" She let the question hang between them.

He gave a little chuckle. "Unique?"

"Ok, so you're saying you, what, just woke up one day with these.....powers and abilities?" Buffy looked at him incredulously.

"God's honest truth, luv. Sorta came out of nowhere. And for quite a while, well.....it was a little disorienting. Wasn't exactly into fighting for good right off the bat. Took me a few years to really find my place."

"How long have you been this way? I mean, had these powers."

"Some years now. Sometimes it feels like a century."

Buffy shook her head. "So let me get this straight. You were just this regular guy, then bam, you've got superpowers?"

He nodded his head. "That's the long and short of it, yeah." He slid further back on the sarcophagus they were sharing, giving himself a more full view of her.

"Huh. You know, I've heard about these supposed 'Powers That Be,' but I never figured they'd just smack some normal guy upside the head with this stuff."

"Well, who knows the how or why.....I've long since stopped trying to figure that out."

"So now you're in Sunnydale? Explains why I've been so bored with my work lately. I'm surprised I haven't run into you sooner."

He shrugged. "Lotsa cemeteries in this town. And I had heard there was a Slayer here. Was beginning to think it was a myth. But like I said, lotsa cemeteries. We probably just missed each other a few times."

"Wow, so this is like, your calling or something? You do this full time?"

"Every night."

"How do you, well, I mean, do you have a day job?"

He chuckled. "I have another job, yeah. Very flexible hours. I come and go as I please."

Buffy frowned. "Is it illegal? Cuz if it is, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

He smiled. "Not illegal. Kind of a.....bouncer, if you will."

"Oh, well, that's not illegal. And kinda makes sense. You think they'd hire a girl bouncer? Cuz it's gotta beat flipping burgers."

"Unfortunately, I think I'm enough bouncer for them. Sorry, luv."

Buffy shrugged. "Ah, you just gave me a fleeting hope that I wouldn't go home smelling like reprocessed meat every night. No big."

"You don't smell so bad from here."

Again, Buffy blushed. "Oh, well, I kinda took a shower before I came out here. I've learned that the vampires can smell me coming from a mile off, and they've equated the Doublemeat smell with getting dusty. So they tend to avoid me when I'm oh-so-aromatic."

He cocked his head and smiled at her. It made her a little uncomfortable. She felt like he was either picturing her with her clothes off or wondering what she would taste like. And the contexts of those thoughts together made her blush even more. He, on the other hand, thought she was about the cutest thing he'd come across in a long time. 'Start thinkin' with your bloody brain, pillock.' "Uh, ya know it's kind of late. I need to make an appearance at work. Usually all it takes for things to stay settled."

Buffy couldn't help the little laugh that escaped. "Just your presence strikes fear into the patrons?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Something like that. And am I getting the impression that you doubt that?"

Buffy shrugged. "Ah, well.....I mean, I don't mean any offense, but.....well, you're an awesome fighter and you have the super power bonus, but just to look at you. Not sure there's a lot of.....intimidation in your....look."

He frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Buffy sighed. "Look, I don't even know you. It's not really my place, and I'm really not in the habit of criticizing people I just meet. Irregardless of right now."

He nodded. "I'm William. You're the Slayer. Now we know each other. So what's so 'unintimidating' about me?"

She shook her head. "Look, all I meant was.....well, you got the.....intellectual look going on. The glasses, mainly. And you were reading when I first saw you. Kind of oblivious to the world. Not something that made me go, 'I better watch out for this one, he looks like a bitchin' demon fighter.' That's all I meant....." 'William.....gotta file that away.'

His look softened. "Let's just say, the folks who come to the bar all know me. And they know what I'm capable of."

"Fair enough. I sure know enough to stay on your good side. Unless I've completely blown that by my incessant ramblings here, cuz I'm pretty sure I haven't made a real good impression."

William smiled. "You've impressed me quite well, luv." He started to walk toward the cemetery exit.

"Oh, thanks. I think. Hey! That isn't necessarily a good, is it?" She called after him.

He chuckled and turned to her. "It's good, pet. All good. And if you'll excuse me, Slayer." He paused while he fished out his glasses and put them back on. "I have some folks to go intimidate."

Buffy smiled. "Ok. Good luck. Oh, by the way, it's Buffy."

"What's buffy?"

"Me, I am. It's my name. I mean, ya know, if we run into each other out here again sometime. Instead of calling me 'Slayer', you can call me Buffy."

"I look forward to it, Buffy." He gave her a short nod and turned again to leave. 'Who in the hell names their kid Buffy? Gotta be short for something. Maybe Elizabeth.....'

"Hey, Buff! How was the ole' patrol tonight?" Willow asked brightly. "Did ya kill any baddies? Dust any vamps? Hack any demons into little bitty bits?"

Tara shook her head and placed her hand soothingly on Willow's arm. "Sorry. She convinced me to let her have some coffee so we could stay up and study. I should have known better....."

Buffy smiled. "Caffeinated Willow. Haven't seen her for a while."

Willow's face fell. "Sorry, I know I can be annoying girl when I'm all juiced up. But you look like you had a good time. The lull over?"

Buffy shrugged. "Ah well, the usual, ya vamps.....lotsa headstones.....I met a gorgeous guy.....did I mention the headstones?"

Willow got excited again. "OH! A guy!" She turned to Tara. "Buffy met a guy!" Back to Buffy. "Oh, ya gotta sit and dish with us. Gorgeous, huh? Tell us all about it!"

Buffy couldn't contain her giddy smile. "Well, don't get so worked up. I don't even know if I'll see him again. But I think I will. We're kind of in the same line of work, I guess you could say."

Willow frowned. "You mean.....someone from the Doublemeat? It's not that scary guy with 4 fingers, is it? I mean, the one with 4 fingers on one hand. Ya know, 9 fingers total.....missing one....." Willow trailed off when Tara started rubbing little circles on her back. "Sorry.....I mean, ya know, if that's the guy, well.....that's cool. Good for you."

Buffy laughed. "NO, it's not him. Ewww. And I don't mean that line of work. I mean the other line of work. The one that has me coming home with demon intestines and vamp dust on me almost every night. Of course, that could be just a bad day at the Doublemeat....."

"So, you met a guy who fights demons?" Tara smiled gently.

"Yup. A bonafide demon hunter. And not just that, he's awesome. He has like.....like Slayer powers, except he's a guy."

"A guy Slayer? Wow....."

"Not really a Slayer, he said one day a few years ago he just woke up and had super powers. Isn't that whacky?!" Buffy said wide-eyed.

"Yeah.....oh, but tell us about the gorgeous, I definitely remember hearing gorgeous." Willow beamed.

"Oh, god yeah. He's taller than me, which is, ya know, a requirement. He's got these super pretty blue eyes. God, beautiful eyes. And cheekbones forever. His hair is a little iffy, bleach job on its way out, but it seems to really work on him. The dark roots and the light ends.....And he has this awesome long black leather coat. And the way he moves and fights.....he's like.....like sex! Well, except way better than any sex I ever had....." Buffy looked off wistfully. 'Angel was nice and sweet, but it was just that once. Parker was......eh. Riley was good, solid. Good and solid about cover it.'

"Earth to Buffy," Willow smiled.

"Oh, and I forgot the best part. He has an accent."

The Wicca's melted. "Ah, what kind? I love accents," Tara glowed.

"British. He's got this awesome British accent. But not like Giles British. Better. Less stuffy, more......sexy......"

"Wow, so are we gonna get to meet this gorgeous superhero anytime soon?" Willow asked.

"Oh, God, I don't know. I don't know if I'll even see him again. He kind of just drifted off into the night."

"Um, Buff? Angel much?"

"What? No! Not Angel. Not Angel at all," Buffy pouted.

"Well, the whole super powered, night drifty thing....."

"Well.....he didn't so much drift into the night as leave for work, but still....it was kinda drifty. But in a cool way, not a 'I'm a mysterious vampire' way.

"Well, a super powered good guy that has a regular job. Sounds perfect for you." Willow winked.

Buffy smiled. "I know, but.....ah, who knows. If I see him again, I do, if I don't, I don't."

"Am I right in assuming you're hoping for the former versus the latter?" Tara smiled at Buffy.

Buffy shrugged. "Maybe....."

After William had sufficiently intimidated the patrons at Willy's, he made his way upstairs to his apartment. He rubbed his sore jaw. He'd let some rabble rouser get a few licks in. All because he was thinking about that girl. 'Buffy. Bloody stupid name. But.....does kinda roll off your tongue. Like I bet she would--Ok, stop this train of thought. No more thoughts of Buffy and tongues and rolling.....She's not that great, when ya think about it. Too skinny. Funny nose. Eyes......a bit of alright to look at. Lips.....probably kissable. Wouldn't mind nibbling on those cute little earlobes. But other than that.....other than that, she's absolutely perfect. Except she's a bloody Slayer. And a woman. And you're doing your best to avoid both of those things. You've come a long way. Done too much to cock it up now. Just toss off and get some sleep. Like every night. She'll seem less appealing in the morning. So long as you don't bloody dream about her.'

Except, he did dream about her. All night long. And when he woke, his usual lazy morning/noon erection was painfully hard. 'Bloody women.....' he thought as he stroked himself off.

After his shower, he occupied himself in the usual ways. Reading, writing, thinking. When it came time to go patrolling, he was hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't see her again. Maybe he could have a restful sleep this time.

****

**TBC... Review please!! Let me know what ya think!**


	2. Chapter2

Buffy felt silly, like she was getting ready for a date, but it was just patrolling. She was trying to pick out the most slay-effective, but sexy clothes. Dawn would just laugh at her when Buffy would barrel into her room asking her how she looked. Secretly, Dawn was happy for Buffy. She hadn't had a boyfriend since Riley left more than a year ago. She hadn't even seemed remotely interested in men. Angel came to visit every few months, but Dawn couldn't tell if Buffy was still interested in him. They seemed to get along well enough, but if it was more than friendship, Dawn couldn't tell. Buffy never talked about him like anything more than a friend, but she thought sometimes the looks they shared alluded to something deeper that still existed. She would half-jokingly remind Buffy not to boink him, to which Buffy would respond by throwing something at her. Dawn thought Angel was alright, for a vampire. But she also thought he was more trouble than Buffy needed. All her exes were. She needed someone easy. Someone she didn't have to hide her slaying from. Someone who didn't get their ego bruised when Buffy turned out to be stronger than them. And, most of all, someone who wouldn't try to destroy the world if Buffy decided to get groiny with them. Dawn hoped that this new guy fit all those key categories.

Finally, Buffy yelled that she was being ridiculous and probably wouldn't run into him anyway. She left the house with a tank top and old sweatpants on. Her once meticulously curled hair was thrown back into a sloppy bun. About an hour into her patrol, she realized she was looking for him more than looking for vamps. She mentally chastised herself for acting like a silly school girl, but then she saw him coming out of the Sunnydale Forever cemetery.

'Bloody hell, she's gorgeous. No rest tonight.....Does she do that on purpose? That tank top is cropped too high.....her pants are riding too low on her hips....is that? Is she wearing a thong? And her hair all mussed.....God, she looks like she just got shagged. Too bloody sexy.....fuck.....'

'Oh! There he is. Wow, he looks.....really hot. I wonder if his hair does that wavy thing naturally or if he makes it do that. And why is he looking at me like that? Again, with the clothes off or eating thing.....And, was his t-shirt that tight last night? Did his muscles always ripple like that when he walked? Too bad that duster is so long, bet he's got an ass to die for.....Stop it! Maybe he's not even looking at you like you think he's looking at you. Maybe he's got a girlfriend somewhere. Who knows. Cute guy like that, surely taken. Or gay. Oh, God, don't let him be gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Some of my best friends are gay. Really. But, ah, don't let him be taken or gay. Or maybe, yes, if I can't have him, he should be gay. Then I know no other woman will have him either. Or I could stop mentally babbling, because he's running his hand through his hair and I'm pretty sure all my blood is leaving Brainsville....."

"Hello, cutie. Nice night for killing things, don't ya think?" He smiled at her, trying to give off an air of cool and collected. Trying to keep her from seeing the tightness in his jeans.

"Uh huh," Buffy was able to sputter out. 'Damn, get it together!' "Been very busy?"

William gestured his head toward the cemetery he was leaving. "Just one in there. But I'm headed to Restfield right now....." 'Don't ask. Don't ask. Girl is obviously nervous. Heart's racing a mile a minute. Does she want me to ask, or is she upset she met up with me?'

"Would you mind some company?" 'Obvious much, Buffy?'

"That'd be lovely." 'Or, how about NO, you can't come along. How about, if you come along I'm gonna be wankin' off all night to the mental image of you sliding down those pants just a little more and lettin' me get a taste of ya.'

William watched her all night. He tried not to be obvious, and for the most part succeeded. She watched him, a little less than subtly. But that's probably just because her body was giving off signals that she was unaware of. 'Girl likes. Girl definitely likes. I can tell by the way her heart skips just a bit when I dart out my tongue to my top lip after a good tussle. And the soddin' smell of her. She definitely likes. And I like. And that's just not going to work at all.'

"So, looks like we've had a good body count. All a bloke can hope for. Think I'm gonna call it a night."

Buffy looked disappointed. "Oh, ok. Yeah, probably not many left anyway. Gotta save some to catch for tomorrow night, right?"

"Yeah, there will always be more."

"So, um.....maybe we can hook up again tomorrow. I think this tag-team slaying works pretty well. That is, unless you prefer to work alone. You gotta forgive my forwardness, I've just never come across someone relatively normal that I could do this with. I mean, my friends, but I was always worried they'd get killed......"

'No, I work better alone. No, if we split up, we can cover more ground. No, I can't be near you when you grunt and sweat and fight, because I'm afraid I'll come in my pants.' "I'd love t' meet up tomorrow. Say, 10 at the gates of Landonview?" 'WHAT?!?! Now you're making plans? Do you want to internally combust???'

"Sounds great! I'll be there with bells on. Except, not really, because bells, noisy." 'Ok, stop babbling, you got a date. NO, no a date. A set time to take a walk together at night where you probably will end up killing things. Definitely not a date.'

"Looking forward to it." He turned go, pulling out some cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one up as he went.

Buffy frowned. 'Well, not perfect. Shouldn't have expected perfect. But still.....as damn close as I've gotten in a while. And how does he make something so nasty look so hot?'

She went home feeling like a little girl at the circus who just found out she was going to Disneyland the next day.

And so they met the next night. And the next. And every night for the following two weeks. Each patrol they got more and more comfortable with each other's style, learning to anticipate and expect the other's movements. It didn't take long before they were a fluid team. And as often as William told himself it was a bad idea, he found himself waiting for her every night at 10pm. And as often as she told herself not to get her hopes up, Buffy found herself getting first date butterflies every night around 8pm.

But one night was different. Around 9pm, Dawn called to Buffy, "Hey, Buffy, don't forget Angel is coming into town tonight. You want me to put out the sheets for the couch?"

Buffy ran out of the bathroom with her toothbrush in her mouth. "Oh shit! I completely forgot. I'm supposed to meet William tonight."

Dawn smirked. "When aren't you supposed to meet William?"

"When is he supposed to get here?" Buffy whined.

"God, he's your ex, not mine. Maybe you could keep track of this stuff. And 10pm, by the way."

Buffy shook her head. "No good. I meet William at 10. Gonna be late at it is. Look, when Angel gets here, just tell him I'm sorry that I couldn't wait for him, and I'll try to cut patrolling short tonight."

"Whatever." Dawn rolled her eyes. "You haven't had a short patrol in weeks. As a matter of fact, they seem to get longer and longer. And we still haven't met this guy, ya know."

"Look, we're just patrolling buddies at this point. If anything more happens, you guys will be the first to know, ok?"

"Hey! Was getting worried some baddy tagged you on the way over here."

"Sorry, I had to stay late at work. Barely had time to shower and dry my hair."

William smiled. "Not a problem, luv."

As they started to walk further into the cemetery, Buffy heard someone calling after her. She turned to see Angel jogging toward the pair. A hint of panic hit her, but she quickly hid it and waved at him. "Angel! What are you doing here?"

He slowed as he approached them. "Well, Dawn said you were patrolling. Said I could find you here and-" He stopped abruptly, noticing the man she was with. "Spike?"

William had been trying to casually hide his face ever since he saw Angel coming toward them.

Buffy frowned. "Um, Angel, this is William."

"William." Angel shook his head and looked at Buffy. "You ever going to start hanging out with guys who are actually alive?"

Buffy half grinned as though he were joking, but then looked at William, who was now glaring at Angel with a clenched jaw. "You're.....you're not.....you're a vampire?"

William didn't answer, he just directed his gaze to the ground.

"But.....but you said.....and I thought.....God, you lied to me? All this time, you've been lying to me?"

William spoke quietly. "Never lied to you."

"Ha! And how come I couldn't tell? I'm the Slayer, that's my job."

Angel chuckled. "Well, you certainly didn't seem to know I was a vampire before we were dating."

At that, William's eyes shot up to Angel. 'Dating. Buffy dated this pillock?'

Angel shook his head. "Spike, old boy, what the hell are you doing here?"

"None of your bleedin' business," William grated out, again looking anywhere but at Angel.

"Wait, Spike? I thought you said your name was William." Buffy was confused.

"Well, back in his bad old days, he preferred Spike. But now that he's got a soul, I guess he's back to William."

William glared up at Angel again. "How did you....." Then he just shook his head.

Buffy looked at William. "Ok, hold on. First of all, you're a vampire. Not only that, a vampire with a soul. Any other secrets I should know about?"

"Oh, you might want to look up his history with Slayers. You can find him under 'Spike' or 'William the Bloody.' He's sure to be in the Watcher's journals." Angel seemed to be having a very good time with this.

William closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He turned to Buffy and said quietly. "Look, I'm sorry. I just thought if you knew what I was, you'd.....I don't know, run me out of town. Didn't know you had 'experience' with vamps with souls." He threw a disgusted look towards Angel. When he looked back at Buffy, his eyes softened. "Just wanted to help out. Do some good."

Buffy looked at him blankly and shook her head. "I don't think I want to patrol tonight. I'm going home."

William stepped back and let her leave. As she passed Angel to head to the exit, Angel walked up to William. "You touch her, you'll regret it."

William looked indignant at Angel. "I've got a soul now, you bloody idiot. I don't hurt people anymore."

Angel shook his head. "That's not the kind of touching I meant." With that, he turned to join Buffy.

William sighed. "Don't do that anymore, either," he said to himself.

---

TBC Please R&R!


	3. Chapter3

"Buffy," Angel implored.

"I don't want to talk about it, Angel. Just.....let it go." Buffy stomped up to her front door.

"You like him, don't you?"

Buffy stopped and turned to him. "What part of 'don't want to talk about it' is so confusing?" She unlocked the door and stormed in, leaving it open for Angel.

"Buffy! You're home early," Dawn chimed from the living room. Upon seeing her sister's expression, Dawn's immediately went grave. "What happened?"

"Nothing. And I don't want to talk about it." Buffy threw herself onto the couch.

Dawn frowned. "Ooookay." She looked up at Angel as he entered the room. "What did you do? She was fine before you went looking for her."

Angel put up his hand defensively. "I didn't do anything." He couldn't help a little smile escaping. "I just.....informed your sister that her new boyfriend was a vampire. That's all."

Buffy glared up at him. "He's not my boyfriend. And you're just loving this, aren't you?"

Angel shrugged. "C'mon. It's kind of funny, right? I mean, you're the Slayer and you keep being attracted to vampires." When neither of the girls softened their gazes toward him, he just said, "Or not so funny....."

"Alright, you obviously know him. Tell me what you know," Buffy said as Angel sat in a chair across from her.

Angel sighed. "What's to know? Doesn't matter, does it? I can have him out of town tonight, if you want."

"Oh, you have that 'power', do you?" Buffy scoffed.

"Spike and I.....we go way back."

"So tell me about him."

"He's not anything you need to worry about. Only been trouble as long as I've known him."

"Yeah, but you said yourself he's got a soul now. How much trouble can he be?"

"Plenty. Look, just forget about him."

Buffy scowled at Angel. Then she turned to Dawn. "I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too late."

"But I just got here. Thought we could talk or something," Angel said.

Buffy shrugged. "We'll talk tomorrow. Not in the mood." She left Dawn and Angel sitting in uncomfortable silence as she made her way upstairs.

Dawn spoke first. "William's a vampire?" Angel nodded. "But he's got a soul, right?"

"Seems that way, yeah."

"So what's the big?"

Angel frowned. "The 'big', Dawn, is that your sister needs to not be dating vampires. Even ones with souls. She needs to find a normal guy."

Dawn snorted. "Like Riley? He was about as normal as you'll find on the Hellmouth, and look how that ended up."

"Look, you're young. You don't understand that it takes time for people to find the right fit. Sometime it takes a few tries. I'm sure there's someone out there for Buffy. Someone normal, alive, who can make her happy."

"You wish it was you, don't you?"

Angel shrugged. "It can't be me. Not right now anyway. And I'm not going to be so selfish as to ask her to wait."

"Wait for what?" Dawn asked.

Angel shook his head. "Nothing. Just.....who knows what can happen. It's not fair to her to think that I can get my curse lifted or that I can.....that any thing else can happen that would let us be together. And a big part of me knows that even without the curse, I wouldn't be good for her."

Dawn nodded. "Wow, this is the most I've ever heard you talk. Frankly, it's worn me out. I'm going to bed too." She headed toward the stairs.

Angel gave her a half smile. "Night, Dawn."

"Night, Angel." Dawn turned to him. "I know you're looking out for her, but I think she's gonna take this one hard. So maybe try not to make so much with the jokes at this guy's expense. I think she liked him."

Angel nodded. When he heard Dawn's bedroom door close, he slipped out the front door, closing it quietly behind him.

"Spike. Let's you and me have a talk."

William turned to see Angel walking toward him. He shook his head. "Bugger. What do you want, Angelus?"

"I think we should get a few things straight."

William put up his hands. "Hey, the Slayer's yours. I got that. Don't need that trouble anyway. Much as I hate to say it, you coming 'round here tonight's the best bloody thing to happen in a while."

Angel stopped a few feet in front of him. "She's not mine. Not anymore. But she sure as hell won't be yours."

"Don't want her. Thought I made that clear."

'Yeah, well.....Buffy.....she has a way of making guys who don't want her, want her."

William nodded. "I could see how that might happen.....to someone else. Me, I want nothin' to do with her."

"Well, now that we have that cleared up, let's talk about that soul of yours."

"Not in the mood, but thanks for the interest." William turned to walk away.

Angel was in front of him in a flash. "Wasn't a request, boy. Let's talk."

William rolled his eyes. "What do you care, anyway?"

Angel shrugged. "Call it curiosity. I wanna know what's happening with the 'family.'"

William laughed. "Oh, the 'family.' Right. Since when have you cared about the 'family', Angelus? Certainly not since you got your soul."

"Yeah, well, I care now. What happened to Dru?"

William shook his head. "This isn't any of your concern. Now, if you don't mind, this city is short a Slayer tonight. Gotta go fill in the gap."

"Look, you can patrol, fine. But I'm just gonna follow you around and bug you until you tell me."

"Well, maybe I'll snap your neck before you get a chance. Sod. Off."

Angel laughed. "You can try. And we can fight. And we can let all the bad guys win tonight because you didn't want to dish a little gossip with me. Or, I'll help you patrol and we can talk. C'mon, Spike. For old time's sake. We've both got souls now. Looks like we're on the same side. At least in the big, cosmic, good versus evil way."

"Fine! Will you just stop blathering on?"

"Absolutely. But you better start blathering, then."

"Fine, what do you want to know?"

"Drusilla."

William nodded and started to walk deeper into the cemetery. Angel followed beside him. "Thing is, there's a story before hers."

One hour later, Willy's Bar...

Angel frowned. "Wow. I mean, I'd heard rumors that you'd gotten your soul, but man..... So, let me get this straight. You were in D.C. when the government grabbed you. Stuck a chip in your head that didn't let you hurt humans. You escape, Drusilla brings you dead bodies to feed on, but you miss the hunt. You get depressed, Dru sees your heart just isn't in it anymore, and leaves you for a.....Fungus demon?"

William shook his head and slammed back the shot of bourbon he had been holding. "Chaos demon. The second time she left me was the Fungus demon."

Angel took a pull on his beer. "Right, sorry. Chaos demon. So she leaves you for a Chaos demon. You get even more depressed. Then you decide to try and be a badass again and go find her. Tie her up, torture her, get back together, which lasts how long again?"

"A month." William signaled the bartender for another bottle.

"Ok, so that lasts a month. Then, she freaks out with one of her visions and says you're going to betray her. Says you're going to give up everything she gave you, right?" William nodded. "So she leaves you again. This time the Fungus demon. And this time you're completely shattered. Totally depressed, irrecoverably-"

"Yeah, yeah, pit of despair and all that rot."

"So, you're in this pit of despair, and you decide to get a soul? I think I missed my connection somewhere around Tijuana, because that just doesn't make sense."

"Well, it didn't just happen like that, did it? Spent a good year in that.....pit. Waited for Dru to come back to me, but she never did. Got my blood from a butcher shop, which, I gotta say, didn't help my mood. Saw all these tasty little humans running around, with their blood pumping so loud I could hear it and almost taste it. But not a drop for Spike, no sir. Couldn't even get a taste. I even hung out in bad areas waiting for people to get murdered. Fed on them sometimes, but what's the fun in that? I mean, way I figured, if they're not screaming and wriggling and making that blood pump into your mouth, what good is it bein' a vampire?" William opened the new bottle the bartender brought and took a long drink. He offered it to Angel, who waved it off.

Angel nodded wistfully. "Yeah.....blood from a cup sucks....." He frowned. "Not that I want to feed off humans, but....."

"Hey, exactly my point. I couldn't feed off humans, so I decided to try and find something that would take away the urge."

"Urge is always there," Angel mused as he finished off his beer and opened his next.

"Too right," William nodded. "Anyway, I thought I could. Thought I could find a spell or a charm or something that would make the urge go away. God knows I tried everything that first year to get the chip out. Or deactivated. You'd think with all the soddin' magic in the world, something would have been able to fix me. But, well, nothing I ever found, at any rate. So I go to this shaman fella and tell him my problem. He says, the only way he can fix me is to give me a soul. And of course, I tell him to sod off. I didn't have any use for a soul. But then he shows me this.....vision. Vision of what I'll be like if I stayed on the course I was on. Hidin' from humans instead of hunting them. Lurking to feed off corpses. Nothin' I hadn't been doin' already, I tell him. But then he shows how in a few years I'd be crazy. More bug-shaggin' than Dru, if that's possible. And part of me thinks, that's not so bad. I sometimes admired Dru's oblivion. But I knew deep down I didn't want that. Pathetic excuse for a vampire. So I'm considerin' just stakin' myself right there and bein' done with it all. But then he touches my chest and I get this other vision. And a feeling.....It's me fightin' some demon off of a little kid. Demon dies, little kid lives. And.....the feeling.....seein' that kid look at me with gratitude and joy 'stead of fear and loathing.....I'd never felt anything so good. So I decided then and there it's what I wanted. Even though the demon in me was screamin' against it, it's what I did." William paused for a moment, his face darkening. "Wasn't really prepared, though."

Angel shook his head. "I'd imagine not. So, this was how long ago?"

"A year, give or take."

"Still hard, isn't it?"

William looked into his empty shot glass. "Yeah," he said quietly.

Angel nodded. "Look, I should be getting back. You ok to get home?"

"I live upstairs. Think I can find it."

Angel chuckled as he stood and put on his coat. "Not so sure, you never could hold your liquor."

William stood and cocked an eyebrow. "Sorry, you had about a hundred years on me, mate."

Angel turned to go, but when he reached the door he stopped. He turned back to William.

"It's good. Good that you're on our side now. You're a good fighter."

William shrugged and looked at the ground. "Had a good teacher. Till he went all pansy-assed and got a soul."

Angel laughed as he turned to the door again. "Yeah, gotta watch out for those pansy-asses with souls."

William picked up his coat and threw it over his arm. "Willy? What's the damage?"

"Oh, come on, man. You know it's on the house." Willy said with a smile.

William shrugged as he headed out the door. "I may be drunk, but I'm not stupid." Once he was outside, he made his way to the outer stairs and up to his apartment. He fell asleep on his bed wondering if he would remember the heart to heart he'd just had with his grandsire, and desperately hoping he wouldn't.

TBC! R&R please!


	4. Chapter4

Buffy bounded down the stairs with a too happy smile on her face.

Angel scowled from the couch. "What're you so happy about?"

Buffy sat down next to him and scrunched up her nose at him. "Happy that I didn't have whatever it was that you had to drink last night."

Angel ran his hands over his face, through his hair. "Well, you'd turned in for the night. And I had some business to see to."

Buffy shrugged. "Whatever. I'm not your mom." She bounced up off the couch. "Want some breakfast? Dawn'll be up soon, so you should get some while you can. She's a pig!" She took off into the kitchen.

Angel followed her, slowly. "Just coffee for me, if you've got it."

"Sure," Buffy chirped. She hummed some mindless tune while she made the coffee.

"Ok, what's going on? Last night you were so mad you couldn't see straight, now you're Mary Sunshine."

Buffy shrugged again, not looking at him. "Nothing's going on. Just decided that that stuff isn't something to get upset over. Wasn't dating the guy. Hardly knew him. No big."

"Yeah, right. Look, he should have told you, plain and simple."

"No, I should have known. I'm the Slayer. It's just that he's so....." Buffy shook her head.

"Human?" Angel finished.

"I guess. I mean, he just seemed so normal. Aside from the whole demon-fighty thing, but hey, in my world that is normal. And it was nice to have someone to talk to. Well, that's when I thought he was more like me than like you."

Angel frowned. "You don't feel you can talk to me?"

Buffy sighed. "It's not like that. But he was.....or I thought he was a human guy who got saddled with these powers and this duty. Like me. Didn't know he was a vamp seeking redemption. Or whatever he's doing. See? I don't even know why he's fighting. And I don't care. He's a non-issue. Maybe he'll just scamper off to wherever he came from and everything will go back to normal."

"He's a good fighter, ya know. You can never have too many of those on the Hellmouth," Angel said nonchalantly.

Buffy looked at him like he'd grown a third eye. "What?! Weren't you the one warning him away, telling me what a baddie he was? Now you're singing his praises and saying he should stick around?"

Angel bristled. "Not exactly singing his praises....." he mumbled.

"Oh, I get it. Maybe this is some kind of 'vamp with souls' club. And you're secretly sworn to promote the causes of all other vamps with souls. I get it, makes sense. Or is it just a support group? 'Hi, I'm Angel and I have a soul. I've been souled for 100 years, see my pin? I did have a relapse a few years ago, but I'm all better now.'"

Angel shook his head. "Look, all I'm saying is I may have been a little rash. It's been known to happen. Spike and I didn't have the friendliest history. But we had a little discussion last night. We sort of.....hashed things out, so to speak. I think he deserves a chance. A chance at redemption and to fight the good fight, not a chance with you, that is."

Buffy scowled. "You don't think anyone deserves a chance with me."

"Not true. But I'm still holding out hope you'll find a normal guy."

"Riley was normal....." Buffy arched her eyebrows at Angel, daring him to argue.

"Riley was....." Angel looked at his watch. "Oh, gee, aren't you going to be late for work?"

"Uh huh," Buffy smirked at him. "You do know that normal doesn't exist, right? Or at least because everyone is so dysfunctional nowadays that normal is actually not the norm. So abnormality is normal and normality is abnormal."

Angel winced. "Just.....not a vampire, ok?"

"Can't seem to attract anything else lately....." Buffy mumbled. "I'm working a double. You gonna be gone when I get back?"

Angel nodded. "Yeah, sorry I couldn't spare more time, but this demon informant up in San Francisco has to shove off to his dimension again soon."

"Anything juicy?"

Angel shrugged. "Possible apocalypse. But what's new?"

Buffy nodded. "Such is life. Our life, anyway." Buffy gave Angel a hug and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for stopping by. And tell Dawnie I left her a note on the fridge, if she ever comes down. I forgot it's Saturday, so you may not see her at all. Oh, and I think Tara and Willow were taking a shower, so they should be down soon if you want them to make you breakfast. They'd be happy to do it."

Angel smiled. "I'll be fine with coffee."

"Bye, Angel. Be careful," Buffy said as she headed out the door.

"You too," Angel said after she'd gone.

It was 10:30pm and William was still waiting at the gates of Landonview. 'Like a git,' he chided himself. 'She's not comin', and it's all the better for that fact. She's probably shaggin' Angel right now. Yeah, big problem with vamps 'n souls, she's got.' He resigned himself to the fact that he was patrolling on his own. But the next night, and the night after that, he found himself dawdling around Landonview around 10pm. 'Just happen to hit this cemetery at the same time every night,' he reasoned with himself. 'Got nothin' to do with the bird who's haunting my every waking and sleeping thought.'

"Um, Buff? It's been a few days.....and well, you kinda are the Slayer. Aren't you going to patrol?" Willow asked nervously.

"She's trying to avoid William," Dawn chimed in. "Just because he's a vampire, she doesn't want to like him. I mean, it's not like she doesn't have experience with dating vampires, and it's not like she's not close, personal friends with a vampire who visits her sometimes. But no, this vampire, who also has a soul, is just bad news."

Buffy scowled at Dawn. She then turned to Willow. "No, I just figured, he's out there patrolling, so I get a well-earned break. I think at least a week of non-slaying will do wonders for me."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Or you could just go jump William's undead bones and that would probably do wonders for you too. I know it would make all of us feel better."

"Dawnie!" Willow cried. "Buffy's right not to want to.....do what you said. And I think it's smart not to get involved with another vampire, because, hey, demons. But, well.....I'm not sure that being avoidy is the right answer. Maybe you could just confront him and then you guys could be friends. And you could be slay-buddies again. Because, really.....you seemed pretty happy lately."

Buffy shrugged. "I'm sure I'll see him around. It's not a big deal. I just wanted to take a little break. Is that so terrible?"

"No, no, and I'm all for the not killing of things once in a while, but still.....you're being a little....."

"Don't you dare say avoidy, because I'm not. I'm just.....regrouping. And not over him, just over the whole slayer gig. It gets a little wearing sometimes."

"Yeah, you looked really worn out when you'd practically knock me down trying to get out the door so you could be on time for your slay-dates." Dawn scoffed.

"Dawn, isn't it your bedtime? School tomorrow?" Buffy quirked an eyebrow at her sister.

Dawn sighed. "Fine. I'm just saying.....you were pretty much happier than you've been since......since you came back. Before, even. It was nice. And if it's a nice guy that makes you feel that way, I don't care if he's a vampire or a Klynk'r demon or a soldier.....just so long as you're happy."

Buffy stood and gave Dawn a hug. "I know, Dawnie. And I appreciate what you're saying. But Buffy Summers doesn't need a man to make her happy!" She tried to get a smile out of Dawn. "It just takes time, ya know? Everything'll be fine, I promise."

Dawn nodded. "I think you're right about one thing. You don't need a man to make you happy. But maybe a vampire......"

"Dawn," Buffy mock warned.

"Ok, ok, going to bed now."

A week had gone by and William was getting severely disgusted with himself. Tonight was the last night, he had determined. He wasn't going to wait one minute past 10:15 for her. 10:20 if he decided to have a smoke. At 10:37 he had smoked his last cigarette and headed into the heart of the cemetery, desperately wanting to kill something.

Her voice stilled him. "William the Bloody. Also known as Spike, due to his penchant for driving railroad spikes into his victims. Fought and killed two Slayers, one in China during the Boxer Rebellion of 1900 and one in New York in 1977. William is reportedly very boastful of his conquests, and has a reputation for seeking out Slayers whenever he is able."

William did not turn to her, only hung his head. "Did your research, I see."

"Watcher's diaries. Usually pretty reliable."

"Oh. I assume Angel filled in the blanks for you."

"No, he.....didn't say much about you. Of course, he doesn't have any place to talk when it comes to this stuff, does he?"

"Not really, no." Finally, William turned to her. "Look, I'm pretty sure an apology would fall on deaf ears right now, so I really don't know what to say."

Buffy frowned as she moved closer to him. She held up the book she'd been reading from. "You think you can just apologize this stuff away?"

William looked strangely at her. "What? That? No! Not apologizing for that. Can't ever....." He shook his head. "I mean to apologize for not telling you what I was. For making you think I was a.....person. Wasn't a conscious thing I did, not at first. It's just that.....you looked at me like I was a person. Just a guy who had a strange job like you. And I guess I just didn't want that to go away. But I'm sorry all the same. Wasn't right, fooling you like that. But I'd be lying if I said I wanted to tell you the truth, because I never did. Never wanted you to know what I was. What I am." He looked at the ground. "That book, what it says about me, it's all true, minus some of the gory details. And I understand if you don't want anything to do with me, but I can fight. And I want to fight. And I know this is your town, so if you tell me to go, there's not much I can do about it. But I'd like to stay and help, if you'll let me. I mean, maybe we can take turns, or you can just have a few days off sometimes. But.....I'd really like to stay. It's up to you, but really.....I've got nothing better to do. Nowhere else I need to be." William's eyes pleaded with Buffy.

She had to look away before she caved too easily. "Look, if you want to stay, that's fine. And it would be nice to have days off sometimes." William's face fell slightly at this. "But if you want to patrol with me, I have one rule: no more lies. I'm not saying you have to tell me everything about yourself, but what you do tell me better be true. And none of this half-true stuff. No more misleading or shading.....just tell me the truth. And if it's none of my business, tell me so. I can be kind of nosy sometimes, I realize that. But really.....vampire? Kind of critical information for a vampire Slayer to have. And soul? Also a good thing to know about."

William was trying to hide his smile. Part of him was rejoicing, and part of him was fighting against it. This part knew that this girl was trouble. Knew that she would tear down everything he'd been delicately building over the past year. But the happy part could care less, because she was letting him patrol with her again. Her finger poking him in the chest shook him out of his thoughts. "Huh?"

"I was going over my other two rules," Buffy scowled.

William frowned. "I thought there was only one rule."

"Well now there are three. And I reserve the right to add more as I see fit."

William grinned. "Ok."

"Anyway, the other two rules are, obviously, no biting, which I think is a given, but then again I thought it was a given that you were just a regular guy, so I'm not leaving anything to chance now. And the other rule is no smoking around me."

"Aw, c'mon, luv. Gotta have a smoke after a fierce battle."

"Then you can patrol alone." She looked at him challengingly.

William sighed and popped his neck. 'Yes, good! Patrol alone! Tell her to sod off!' "Fine. No smoking."

Buffy smiled, satisfied. "Good. Now, give me the update on what's been going on this week. Lotsa baddies? Little baddies? I want the scoop." William smiled and nodded as Buffy began walking into the cemetery beside him.

TBC


	5. Chapter5

The next few weeks flew by for Buffy and William. They were getting closer, despite both of their attempts to keep some distance. They both knew that being anything but friends would be a mistake, but neither could deny there was an intimate attraction. Neither voiced these ideas, but each wondered if the other thought them as well.

They were both deep into playing it cool and nonchalant. They didn't dig into the other's past or private life too much. They accepted what was volunteered, but never pried. Buffy, especially, could tell that William's past was something he wasn't really excited to talk about. She would lob little questions at him, small probes to feel him out a bit. Just enough to get a sense of him, but never too much to be nosy. For his part, William would casually open up topics that he knew would lead to Buffy talking about herself. He consumed each tidbit of information and filed it away in his head. After their patrols, he would try to mentally construct her in his head, putting all the things he learned in place with the things he knew from previous conversations. He was wholly impressed with the woman that was being created in his mind.

At least once a week, sometimes more, William offered to patrol alone. Though she rarely accepted, Buffy appreciated the mini-breaks when she did indulge. She knew that William preferred to patrol with her, mostly because when she offered to give him a day off, he refused. One afternoon she decided she needed to show her appreciation, show her thanks in some way.

"What about a nice gift basket? Ya know, some little cheeses, crackers, and a couple bottles of blood?" Dawn offered helpfully.

Buffy rolled her eyes, but kept it for consideration nonetheless. She was really stumped as to what she could do for him. For all the things she was slowly learning about him, he was still hard to gauge when it came to these things.

"Oh!" Willow jumped up from the couch. "You could invite him over for dinner. You know, with all of us, not a ' you and him alone' kind of dinner."

Dawn's eyes got wide. "Yeah! And then we could finally meet the mysterious guy that you spend more time with than your own family."

Buffy frowned. "That's not true, Dawnie. I only spend a few hours a night with him. And it's not even 'with him'. It's patrolling."

Tara smiled. "Well, I may be the only one that noticed, but your patrols have gotten longer and longer since William's been around."

Willow nodded. "Yeah, they used to be, like, two hours, tops. Now two hours is a short patrol....."

Dawn chimed in, "You gotta admit, with two people patrolling, it would seem like it would only take half the time, not double.....but strange phenomena abound on the Hellmouth."

"Ok, guys, I got it. I spend a lot of time.....patrolling." Buffy shook her head.

Dawn sighed. "No, you don't get it. We don't care how much time you spend patrolling. We just think it's about time we meet this guy that you're patrolling with."

Buffy looked over at Willow and Tara, their nods confirming Dawn's assertion. "Ok.....maybe tonight I'll see if he'd be interested in coming over for dinner before patrol sometime. But no promises. He's kind of a shy guy, I'm not sure he'll be psyched to meet the Scooby gang."

"Oh! That reminds me, we should invite Xander and Anya. I know they'll want to meet him," Willow said.

"Sure, cuz Xander was so excited to find out there was another souled vampire in my life," Buffy scoffed.

"Hey, give him a little credit. He took it better than we thought he would. He didn't say anything bad about him," Dawn offered.

Buffy quirked her eyebrow. "No, but that little vein that nearly burst in his forehead spoke volumes. I'm just glad Giles is back in England. He would have a coronary."

"You're going to keep this from Giles?" Tara asked.

"What's there to keep? I just have a patrolling buddy. And if Giles cared that much about my day to day Slayer activities, he'd be here, wouldn't he?" Buffy left abruptly and went into the kitchen.

Dawn shook her head. "Oook, a little latent Giles hating going on."

Willow frowned. "Less latent, more blatant. I thought everything was cool with her and Giles."

Tara patted Willow's shoulder. "I think she's still sore that he left again for England so soon after we brought her back."

"Yeah, but it's only for a few months, so he can get some things squared away with the Council. I mean, hello, Slayer no longer dead......kind of created a ruckus with the Watchers," Willow defended.

"I know. And so does she. But it still hurts her, I think. It's kind of been a rough time for her, and then the only parent figure she has left leaves her. Even if it is temporary, she still needs him around," Tara reasoned.

Buffy came back in the room and grabbed her keys off the table. "Ok, I'm off. Don't wait up."

"I never do," Dawn offered. "I'm always afraid I'll end up hearing growly vampire sex coming from your bedroom, and I think that would just traumatize me for life," she teased.

"Ok, no more HBO for you, young lady," Buffy said in her most stern 'mother' voice as she closed the door behind her. As she walked to the cemetery, her mind couldn't help but wander. 'Hmm.....growly vampire sex......not entirely an unappealing idea......NO! No more vampire sex. Vampire sex is bad. Oh, who am I kidding, it's the best sex ever. But, no.....bad, very bad. Especially bad with William.....and those tight muscles that ripple in his back when he tosses off his duster for a big fight. And his completely biteable ass. And those chest muscles that I got up close and personal with when that Groxlar threw me into William. And it would be bad to run my fingers through his unruly curls, but, God, they look soft. And I bet he clenches his jaw when he's thrusting, just like he does when he's fighting. And it would be bad if I licked his cheekbones, because I'd probably cut myself they're so sharp. Then there would be blood in my mouth and he's a vampire and he wouldn't be able to help himself. He'd grab me and lick the blood off my tongue. And he's a guy, so he couldn't help himself but to kiss me then. And it would be rude and bad of me not to return it. So then we'd be kissing, and then I could touch his soft hair......grab his tight my hands up and down his chest and back......'

"Hello, luv."

His presence startled her, and she wondered for a moment how she had gotten to the cemetery so quickly. She shook her head. 'Definitely bad......' "Hey.....ready?"

"Always," he smiled as he stomped out his cigarette. He had kept true to his word and didn't smoke while she was around. But there was no way he could go without a smoke before. Just knowing she'd be around was enough to make butterflies that he thought had died with his human self resurface. So, he smoked like a fiend before and after patrol, but never during. No matter how fierce a fight had been and especially no matter how hot Buffy made him. He was learning to find other ways of calming himself around her, though few with much success.

"1907," Buffy said, taking him a bit off-guard.

"Huh? Oh.....uh.....1907......1907.....Spain."

"1883."

"1883......we were.......wait, I know this......1883, not long after I got turned, um......" William stopped walking and closed his eyes in thought.

"Time's up! Awwww......I win......Ok.....What was your favorite food when you were alive?"

William frowned. "Hey, I contest. Not fair, I'm an old man, you can't possibly expect me to remember where I was in 1883."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "But I bet you remember your favorite food from way before that."

William sighed and shook his head. He couldn't help smiling a bit at her. "My mum made a brilliant Shepherd's pie. That'd probably be my favorite, if I had to pick."

Buffy nodded as they continued further into the cemetery. "Shepherd's pie. Isn't that like stew or something?"

William smiled, watching her out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah, something like that. Ok, Rozerab-morgel."

"Ha, too easy. Green, thick skinned demon that comes from......some other dimension. Spits mild acid that, while not too harmful to skin, is hell on cashmere."

William cocked his eyebrow and chuckled. "Ok......Orflong."

"Orflong......oh yeah, they.....oh, hold on," Buffy gestured behind William. As he turned to look, she was already past him, her stake ready. She dusted the fledgling quickly and turned back to William. "Anyway, Orflong's are--"

"--Oh, I'm sorry. Time's up," William tsked as he looked at his watch.

"Hey! No fair. I had a time out for killing a vamp. You can't count that."

William frowned in thought. "Actually, you said 'hold on', you didn't call a time out, so I can't in good conscience count it as a time out. Sorry, luv. Rules are rules. Anyway.....Ok, when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Buffy pouted. "I don't remember."

"Sure ya do."

She sighed. "Fine.....I wanted to be a figure skater," she mumbled.

William frowned. "What? Sorry, didn't catch that last bit."

Buffy scowled. "If there's one thing I know about vamps, it's that you have that stupid hyper-sensitive hearing. You know good and well what I said and I'm not saying it again."

William chuckled. "Fair enough, pet. Um, Balcam demon."

"Hey! It's my turn. You get two, now I get two."

William shook his head and pointed behind Buffy. "No, luv. No games. Balcam demon behind you. Make that, family of."

Buffy whipped around to see four very large, and for the most part unhappy, sharp and pointy demons heading in their direction. She looked over at William and shrugged. "You want the two on the right?"

William nodded, never taking his eyes off the group. "Sounds good."

"Um, by the way, if this were a question, I would miss it," Buffy admitted sheepishly.

William sighed. "Not from around here, their spikes are razor sharp and they have retractable spines that shoot out of their elbows. And they always attack in twos."

Buffy nodded. "Spikes, sharp, spines.....got it."

It was a pretty harsh battle, and in the middle of it William was sure he would need a smoke soon after. He was able to keep both of his demons on the defensive for the most part, using their lack of speed and tendency to lumber against them. He got nicked a few times with the spikes, but avoided any serious injury. He took a moment to check on Buffy after he had snapped the smaller demon's neck. He scanned the area, getting sight of her just as one of her demons rammed its elbow spine into her back. William and Buffy cried out simultaneously, and William's remaining demon attacked at just the wrong time, resulting in his head being torn off. William still carried the head in his hands when he reached Buffy. William shoved the demons off her with more force than he thought he possessed. He then vamped out and when the two remaining demons saw this, along with their comrade's head in his hands, they made a hasty retreat. William thought about giving chase, but instead punted the head in the direction of the fleeing demons.

He dropped to his knees beside Buffy, almost frozen with fear. He shook it off and gently rolled her onto her back. Her shirt was drenched in blood, front and back. He noticed that the demon had gotten her through the shoulder, so he hoped there wasn't much damage. But apparently there was enough blood loss and pain for Buffy to be out cold. William picked her up, unsure of what he should do. He wondered briefly if he should take her to the hospital. He dismissed that thought, knowing full well that her injuries would raise too many questions at a hospital. He also hoped that her Slayer healing would make further treatment unnecessary. But one thing was for sure, he couldn't stay out too long with her. The blood she'd lost would already be attracting vamps near and far. Nothing had a pull like Slayer blood.


	6. Chapter6

The only safe place he knew was his own, and he managed to keep her precariously perched form from falling off his motorcycle as he drove slowly down the back streets to his apartment. He marveled at how light she was as he carried her up the stairs to his door. 'Almost nothing to her. Wonder how she's able to handle herself so well.' He gently laid her over his shoulder as he unlocked and opened his door to his tiny, one room apartment. Needing no light, he quickly placed her on his bed.

He set to work treating her wound. He didn't dare remove her shirt, instead he tore wider the hole the Balcam demon had made. He cleaned the area as best he could, thankful that her Slayer healing prevented it from bleeding further. He covered both her wounds with washcloths, all the while certain it was unnecessary. As he was finishing up, she came to. Violently. She started thrashing in his bed. He held her down and shushed her.

"Buffy? Buffy, calm down. You're ok."

"Wha.....unh.....Where am I? William? Is that you?"

William chuckled as he released her and flipped on his nightstand lamp. "Sorry, luv. Forgot you humans need light."

"Where am I? What happened?"

William slid a little further up the bed. "You don't remember? Balcam demon gave you a pretty good hole in the shoulder there. But it should heal up quick enough." William looked down shyly as he started to adjust the washcloth on her wound. "Don't really have any proper supplies. Sorry."

Buffy looked down at her injury. "Don't worry about it. It should start healing on its own anyway. You shouldn't have ruined perfectly good washcloths." Buffy smiled a bit.

William shook his head. "No, not just that. Sorry that I.....I should have been faster. Could have helped you. Should have killed mine sooner. Didn't know.....'m sorry, Buffy."

Buffy sat up gingerly, trying not to rest too much weight on her injured arm. "Are you serious? I'm the Slayer. The Slayer doesn't need anyone's help." At William's questioning glance toward her shoulder, she amended, "Well, mostly. And, hey, if you hadn't been there, I'd be dead. I mean, maybe I'm supposed to be dead right now, and you've just upset the balance, but I guess we'll deal with that later." Buffy tried to get a smile out of him. He only frowned. "Hey, just kidding. I've died before. World seems to be trucking along like always."

William's eyes went wide. "You've died before? How's that?"

Buffy nodded her head. "Yeah, twice, actually. But the first time I was just gone for a few minutes and my friend revived me. Second time, that was a doozy. I was dead and buried."

William shook his head. "You're not a vampire. I'd have noticed."

Buffy chuckled. "Good deduction, Sherlock. No, I'm not a vampire. I, uh, well, it's complicated and to be honest I don't understand it all myself. But I died a 'mystical death', whatever that means. Dead is dead. But anyway, my friends, a couple of whom are also witches, did a spell and brought me back. So here I am!"

"Wow. When was this?"

Buffy's face fell. "Not long ago."

"How long have you been back?"

"Look, no offense, but it's not really one of my favorite topics."

William mentally kicked himself for prying. "Of course, sorry." He looked down at his hands and shirt, covered in Buffy's blood. "Do you mind if I.....um, just really quickly.....I gotta wash this blood off me. It's driving me crazy."

"Oh, yeah, of course. I guess I should take that as a compliment. But I bet any kind of blood would do that....."

William shook his head. "Not really. It's not just that it's human blood, but it's Slayer blood. That's got its very own kind of.....attraction."

"Oh....."

"I won't be but a minute. Try not to move around too much, don't want you reopening that wound."

"Right."

William emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later. He had taken a quick shower and was looking very yummy to Buffy. The clean shirt he wore was open as he ran a comb through his wet hair. Buffy decided that getting caught ogling him would not be good, so she looked around for something to occupy herself. She noticed a large crucifix, about a foot long, lying on William's nightstand. There was a small towel covering half of it. She picked it up.

"Strange collectible for a vampire to have." She looked at William who seemed a bit stunned.

"Uh, well, yeah, I guess it is." William ran both his hands through his just-combed hair.

Buffy frowned. "William, why do you have a cross by your bed? Probably not because you like to say your prayers every night."

William shrugged and put his boot up on the bed, paying close attention to tying it up just right. Now that he was so close, Buffy noticed something. She reached over and pulled his shirt open further. There were marks on his chest the size and shape of the cross she was holding. Some were fading, some more fresh. William quickly grabbed his shirt closed and turned his back to her as he buttoned it.

"William?"

William turned to her with a big smile. "Hey, it's late. Your people are probably worried sick. No need to keep them waiting. Let me give you a ride home. Are you ok to ride the motorcycle?"

Buffy looked at him for a long moment, then decided not to push him. "Yeah, I think I'm good."

"Ok, then. Away we go. Oh! Let me get you a different shirt." William turned toward his dresser.

"No, really. No need to bloody up another one. I'll be fine until I get home."

"Oh, alright."

After giving William directions to her house, Buffy settled herself in behind him on the bike. She wrapped her good arm around his waist and tried to casually rest her head against his back. They both took a moment to enjoy the sensation of being so close to the other before William started up his motorcycle and took off for her house.

After what they both felt was a too short ride, William pulled up to the curb in front of Buffy's house. When he killed the engine, she got off the bike carefully, making sure not to jostle her arm.

"Um, you wanna come in?" Buffy asked bashfully.

William smiled. "It's late and you could probably use the rest. Another time?"

Buffy nodded, disappointed and relieved at the same time. "Absolutely. And just for the record, you have a standing invitation."

William raised an eyebrow at this. "That a smart idea, luv? Giving a vampire an open invitation?"

Buffy shrugged. "Are you going to sneak into my house and kill me and/or mine?"

"Hadn't made any plans, no," William chuckled.

"Then I figure it's safe. So, I'll see you tomorrow. Regular time?"

"No, luv. You take the night off. Get good and healed."

Buffy gave a pout. "I'm not taking the night off. It's my job, not yours. I'll be fine by tomorrow."

William nodded. "Right then, have it your way. Stubborn girl," he mumbled.

"What was that?" Buffy raised her eyebrows.

"Nothing. You feel better, pet."

"No, I'm sure you said something," Buffy persisted.

William started up his motorcycle, revving it loudly. "Sorry. What? Can't hear you." William made an apologetic face and pointed to the motorcycle.

Buffy rolled her eyes. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Look, buddy, I know perfectly well you can hear me, so listen close: I'm the Slayer, you're the vampire. I don't need anyone protecting me. You helped me out today and I'm grateful. But don't let that make you think you can go all Cro-Magnon on me."

William's look of surprise told Buffy that he had heard exactly what she said. He mouthed the words "Cro-Magnon" over the roar of the engine. Buffy nodded and folded her arms. The action, however, resulted in a great deal of pain in her injured shoulder. When William saw her wince, he moved to get off the motorcycle, but Buffy's glare stayed him.

"I'm fine. Now go home, Cro-Magnon."

William shook his head but couldn't help smiling. He gave her a little wink, and she graced him with a small smile of her own before he pulled away into the street.

The next night, Buffy showed up at precisely 10 o'clock, despite William's suggestion that she take the night off. When he saw her sauntering up to the cemetery gates, William couldn't help but shake his head. 'Stubborn.'

When Buffy reached him, she held up her hand, "I don't want to hear it. I'm here, I'm fine, so let's patrol."

William smiled then bowed with a flourish, allowing her to lead the way. "And how is the lovely Slayer tonight?"

"The lovely Slayer is just fine. Thank you for asking. And the lovely vampire?" Buffy grinned.

William cocked his eyebrow. "Dunno, next time I see Angel, I'll ask."

Buffy giggled. "Aww, you think he's lovely. You so totally want him."

William's eyes narrowed. "I don't think he's lovely, I just meant....pfft, sod it. You know what I meant."

Buffy tried to contain her laughter. "Hey, you know, if you want to explore your sexuality, I'm all for that. I have friends who're gay, so I'm totally supportive of alternative lifestyles."

William stopped walking and turned to her, his eyes wide now. "Explore.....I'll explore your sexuality if you're not care-......um well, I mean, I don't mean that I'd....that is to say....."

Buffy started laughing full force now. William just clenched his jaw and crossed his arms, waiting for her to compose herself. After about a minute, William lost his patience and started walking ahead of her. Buffy finally got her breath back and jogged to catch him

"Stop, I'm sorry, it's just that....that was too funny!" Buffy's chuckles were lessening a bit.

William stopped and nodded his head, clearly not amused. "Uh huh. Anyway, can we get to work here?"

"Absolutely, yes. Work-mode Buffy, at your service. Ready to dust any vamps that come my way. Present company excluded, of course," Buffy smiled.

William gave a little grin himself. "Of course." They started walking again.

"Oh! I completely forgot yesterday. I was wondering if you'd like to come over tomorrow for dinner, before patrol. My family's request, really. They'd like to meet the guy that I spend most of my nights with," Buffy chuckled.

"Your family? I thought you said there was just your sister....."

Buffy shrugged. "Well, she's the only real family I have-and even that's a long story-but my friends are all as close as family to me."

William nodded. "Uh, sure. That sounds nice. What time?" 'No, no, no! Meeting the family. Dinner. Badness lies that way, Mate.'

"Um, 7-ish, I guess?"

"Alright, 7-ish it is."

They only encountered a few vamps throughout the patrol, most of which William took the lead on, doing his best to keep Buffy out of action. Buffy noticed, but didn't say anything. Despite her rant to him the night before, she kind of enjoyed the chivalry. For some reason it was annoying when Angel did it, but with William it was sweet. Buffy didn't even want to think about why that was. And she was rather grateful, since her shoulder wasn't as healed as she tried to pretend.

On the last leg of the patrol, Buffy had gotten rather quiet. William noticed immediately. "What's wrong, luv? Something on your mind?" He was really hoping she wouldn't chastise him for not letting her have much action. He didn't want to get in that argument right now.

Buffy sighed and stopped walking. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

William stopped and frowned. "Well, you can always ask. Can't guarantee I'll answer though."

Buffy looked up at him, then away quickly. "Well, last night....the cross and....well....why?" The last part she said very quietly.

William took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He unconsciously reached inside his pocket for his cigarettes. When he opened his eyes again, he looked over at Buffy briefly. Remembering his promise, he clenched his jaw and put away his cigarettes. William turned his back to Buffy and ran a hand through his hair. "Well....I'm not sure it's something you can really understand, luv."

"I can try," Buffy offered.

William sighed. He turned back to Buffy, but couldn't look her in the eyes. "The thing is.....before I got my soul...." William's voice broke a bit. "Before I got my soul, I was....evil. Very, very evil. I did things....terrible things that I'm not sure they have a name for to this day. And I was never brought to book for those things. Never made to pay. Never made to hurt like I'd hurt all those people. The massive guilt trip doesn't even begin to cover it. So I...." William shook his head.

Buffy reached up and put her hand on William's arm. He looked up at her. "So you hurt yourself? Because you think you deserve it?"

William nodded. His eyes started tearing up and he quickly looked away from Buffy. He didn't pull away from her, nor did she remove her hand. Overcome with sympathy and sadness for him, Buffy reached up and hugged William. He was stunned still for a moment, but slowly returned the embrace.


	7. Chapter7

"William," Buffy whispered in his ear, "you're not responsible for the things you did before. It wasn't really you. I've only known you for a short while, but I know you'd never hurt anyone. You're a good man and you don't have to pay for things that an evil monster did."

William shook his head as he pulled away from Buffy. "Pet, it was me. It was all me. I'm the monster."

Buffy sighed. "You didn't have a choice. It was your nature. I mean, maybe it even still is, but your soul helps you overcome it. It's not your fault."

William looked at Buffy and gave her a weary smile. "You think vampires don't have free will? We choose....I chose everyday to go out and feed on humans. I chose to torture the men and.....hurt their women."

Buffy shook her head. "But you didn't have a conscience. Not like you do now. You can't tell me you don't know there's a difference."

"Of course I know there's a difference. I feel it every bloody second of the day. But luv.....ah, I knew you wouldn't understand.....It's different when it's you having nightmares about all your victims. When it's you seeing their faces in your waking hours. It hurts every single day. And the only thing that lessens that hurt is...." William took another deep breath.

"Is making the pain physical?" Buffy frowned.

William shrugged. "Only thing I've found, at any rate."

"Have you tried anything else?"

"Kind of stopped looking when I found something that worked." William looked anywhere but at Buffy.

"But, that doesn't make any sense. You say you deserve the pain, but you try to lessen the emotional hurt with physical hurt?" Buffy frowned.

William looked indignant. "Never said it was logical, okay? I don't know why.....I just know that the guilt will drive me 'round the bend if I don't do something about it. And I know I gotta help people, fight evil to try and somehow make amends, if that's even possible. And I can't do that if I'm sack 'o hammers, can I? So yeah, I'll take the physical hurt over the mental hurt anyday. Not like it ever goes away anyway. Just becomes slightly tolerable. That's more than I deserve, but I figure hurt is hurt." He looked away from her again. "So long as I'm getting what I deserve, doesn't matter what form it takes."

A thought struck Buffy, and before she could talk herself out of it, she said, "Tell me if it still hurts through this."

William frowned and looked back at Buffy just as she reached up to his face and pulled him down to hers. The moment their lips met, Buffy sighed. She had forgotten how nice it was to kiss cool lips. William panicked and tried to pull back, but Buffy held him fast. William quickly reasoned that his strength was no match for a Slayer, and kissed her back. Just as William wondered if he could get away with a little tongue action, Buffy had slipped hers between his lips. William moaned, and Buffy smiled against his mouth.

The heated exchange lasted a few moments longer before Buffy pulled back, nearly gasping for breath. William stumbled back, clearly stunned. Buffy smiled at William's dazed state. "So?" she asked.

William squinted at her, trying to make out what she had asked. He said the only thing that came to his mind. "I don't like women."

Buffy's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I would beg to differ," she said as her gaze traveled to the noticeable bulge in his pants.

William looked down and quickly put his hands in front of his crotch. "No, I mean, I like women, but I don't....I mean, I....I've given up women."

Buffy looked puzzled. "What? For like, lent or something?"

William shook his head. "No, for good. I don't.....I don't deserve women."

Realization dawned on Buffy. "You mean, you don't deserve to be happy with a woman."

William looked down. "I don't deserve to be happy at all. I can't...not after the things I've done. I deserve pain. I....I fight evil and I do penance. It's my thing. Women aren't part of that equation."

"Um, why women, particularly? Why not....tv or books or...or anything else that makes people happy?"

William smiled a little. "Because women....." He sighed, "I love women. Women have always made me happy. And I don't just mean sexually, though they have done that....What I mean is, even before I was turned, my whole existence was about women. My mother, my dear cousin Emily....Cecily.....Women ruled me. And I was a willing servant. Women are the thing poets write about. Women inspire. They thrill. They're amazing creatures that have always held my heart. Beauty, strength, charm...they have it all. All women do. To lesser and greater degrees, but they all do. And I know me. I know how easily I can let a woman take control of me, of my heart and now my soul. And nothing would make me happier than to fall completely, ridiculously in love with a woman. And that's why I can't allow it."

Buffy smiled at William. She smiled at the intense, open look in his eyes. "William. Did you like kissing me?"

William nodded. "Yes, but-"

Buffy held up her hand. "No buts. Did you feel the pain, the guilt you always feel when you were kissing me?"

William thought a moment and shook his head.

"Would you like to kiss me again?"

William nodded his head.

"Then do it."

William closed his eyes. "No. I'm sorry, I can't."

Buffy sighed. "Because you need the pain?"

William opened his eyes and nodded.

Buffy shook her head and threw up her arms in disgust. "Fine, you want me to pinch your arm while we kiss? Or maybe knee you in the balls? I can do pain if you want."

William had a very shocked, confused look on his face. "Um, no thanks. I'm rather fond of my balls, and not looking to have you accidentally pinch a chunk of my arm off."

Buffy smiled at that, then her face clouded. "This....between us, it's not going to happen, is it?"

William shook his head and sighed. "I'm afraid not. Like I said, nothing would make me happier, and there's the rub."

Buffy nodded. "So the plan is to be as miserable as possible for as long as possible?"

William shrugged. "Long and short of it, yeah."

"Well then, you should be very satisfied with dinner tomorrow. I'm cooking!" Buffy tried for levity.

William chuckled. "Still invited, am I?"

Buffy frowned. "Why wouldn't you be? We're still friends, right? Still slaying-buddies? Just not making with the smoochies anymore. Which, gotta say, bummer. You're a really good kisser."

William's face brightened up and he leaned in a bit. "Really?"

Buffy smiled. "Yeah, really. Best kiss of my life."

William narrowed his eyes at her. "Now you're just poking fun...."

"No! I'm not, I swear. That kiss was amazing. Or at least it was from my end."

"Hey, I think you saw how much I enjoyed it. Not bloody fair, that."

"What? Just because your a guy and your 'interest' is more obvious?" Buffy giggled.

William raised an eyebrow. "Luv, your interest is obvious too. At least to those of us with heightened senses....."

Buffy frowned. "What do you mean?"

William looked at her suggestively and sniffed the air deliberately as his gaze traveled to her groin.

Buffy's face turned bright red. "Oh my god, that is so disgusting. Stop that! Stop it right now!"

William chuckled. "Can't really help it love. You stop emanatin' that lovely smell...."

Buffy closed her eyes and shook her head. "Ok, I'm so not having this conversation. I'm going home now."

William smiled. "Want me to walk you?"

"A world of no. I don't need you following me home smelling me like some dog."

"Well, you best walk fast, then Slayer. You'll be attracting every male vampire in a 10 mile radius with what you're givin' off! Probably some werewolves and Troilok demons too. And anything else that has better than average smell."

Buffy's jaw clenched. "I'm not even dignifying that with a response. Good night, William. And don't forget, 7 o'clock tomorrow." She turned to leave.

"Sure thing. And if I forget how to get to your place, I'll just follow your scent that's sure to be lingering for a week."

Buffy paused, but then shook her head and continued walking to the gates of the cemetery.

William shook his head and laughed. As he watched her go, he took one last deep breath and took in her scent, wishing it would last as long as he'd teased her it would. 'What the bloody hell are you doing, Will?' he admonished himself as he headed back toward his apartment.

"He's here!" Dawn squealed when she heard the rumble of William's motorcycle.

"Okay, okay. Let's not scare him off before he even gets here!" Buffy yelled from the kitchen.

Dawn watched out the window while William messed with his hair as he walked up to the door.

Before he could reach for the doorbell, the door swung open to reveal Dawn, hands on her hips, head tilted, giving William the once-over.

"You must be Dawn," William held out his hand awkwardly.

"You're William. And a vampire."

William dropped his hand and swallowed. "Right on both counts. Um, your sis home?"

Dawn ignored his question. "So since you're a vampire, you can't come in unless I invite you, right?" She stepped back from the doorway, almost daring him.

William bit back a smile. "Well, I am a rather special vampire. Why don't we see if all those silly rules apply to me." With that, William took a large stride across the threshold.

Dawn's eyes went wide with surprise, and she backed away from him while yelling, "Buffy! You're boyfriend's a freak. And more than just being a vampire." She turned to run to the kitchen and ended up crashing into Buffy who was leaving the kitchen at the same time.

Buffy reached down to help Dawn up. "What's all the ruckus?"

Dawn pointed to William as she stood. "He just came in! Just like that. No invite or anything." She narrowed her eyes at William. "Are you sure you're a vampire?"

"Nah, I just look really good for a 140 year old bloke," William gave Dawn a toothy grin.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dawn, he's a vampire. I gave him a standing invitation the other day. He's just yanking your chain." Buffy looked at William. "Which, I'd appreciate you don't do, seeing as my baby sister is impressionable."

"I'm not a baby!" Dawn whined.

"Ok, notababy, go set the table. Dinner's almost done."

"Fine." Dawn pouted as she went to the dining room.

Buffy shook her head as she looked up at William. "Wanna help me finish cooking?"

"Oh, uh, not so good with the cooking, luv. But I'll watch you," William smiled.

Buffy shrugged. "Fair enough." They walked into the kitchen as Dawn continued to set the dining room table.

William met the rest of the gang in turn as they arrived for dinner. The girls gave him a warm greeting. Xander's was less than warm, but wasn't rude. Willow and Anya made small talk with William and Buffy in the kitchen while Xander and Tara helped Dawn finish the table.

"Well, that was.....interesting," William said as he finished his 4th glass of soda.

Dawn frowned at him. "No it wasn't. It sucked."

"Dawnie, that's not nice. It was....interesting," Willow offered with a smile.

"Okay, okay, I got it. Buffy's not the best cook." Buffy pouted.

"No, no, really, luv. It was good. It was.....good." William nodded as he reached for his glass, frowning when he realized it was empty.

Dawn sighed. "Can I have some more soda? I gotta get this taste out of my mouth."

"Sure. Anyone want some more?" Buffy offered.

"Yes, please!" All gathered at the table said eagerly.

Realization hit Buffy. "Hey! That's why you all drank so much soda?"

She got a chorus of "no's" in response.

"I just love soda, is all," William assured her.

"Yeah, sure. As much as you loved the mystery meat?" Dawn teased as she went to the kitchen to get more soda.

"Hey, now, be nice to your sis. She did her best, and that's all that matters," William called after Dawn. He looked at Buffy. "You want me to eat her? She's barely a nibblet, but she's make a decent dessert."

"I heard that!" Dawn yelled as she came back with soda. "Just for that, you don't get anymore soda!"

"Come on, Dawn. Take pity on the poor guy. He had to eat the same food we did, and he has a stronger sense of smell, so it was probably worse for him," Buffy smiled half-heartedly.

Dawn passed William the two-liter of soda. "You really have a better sense of smell?"

William nodded as he poured himself more drink. "Yeah. All vampires do. Didn't your sis teach you anything?"

Dawn shrugged. "She doesn't like to get me involved in the vampy side of life. Says I'm too young."

William nodded as he handed the soda to Tara. "She's probably right. Young gal like you doesn't need to be worrying about the darker bits in the world. You should be, uh....braiding hair and watching Tellytubbies and whatnot."

Dawn looked at William like he'd grown a horn. "Um, lame much? I'm not 6, for Pete's sake."

William looked a bit chagrinned. "Right. Sorry. Not all that up on what kids are into these days."

Dawn shrugged. "So what kinds of things can you smell with your super-smelling power? Could you smell how bad this dinner would be before you even got in the house?"

"Dawnie!" Buffy threw her napkin at her little sister.

William just hung his head and tried not to laugh as the two sisters bickered. He gave Buffy a long look as she and her sister traded barbs. 'She is beautiful. Can't cook worth a damn, but she does glow.'

Tara squeezed Willow's hand and nodded towards William who was unabashedly gazing at Buffy. Willow smiled at her lover and gave her a wink.

Dawn rolled her eyes as she ignored the last taunt Buffy threw at her. "So anyway, it looks like it's up to me to be the mature one again," she teasingly glared at Buffy. "So, your smelling power. What's it like?"

William frowned. "Um, well....hard to explain really. Stuff you can smell, I can smell really strongly. And stuff you can't smell, stuff that's just a trace of a scent, I can smell like you smell things normally. It comes in handy, sometimes." William shot Buffy a smirk, and enjoyed how she blushed. "Like, for instance....." William closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Dawn, you use a peach soap, but a peaches 'n cream shampoo. And you're wearing perfume that smells like raspberry. Interesting combo."

Dawn gaped at Will. "Oh my god, that's so cool! Now do Buffy!"

Buffy stood very quickly, grabbing her plate. "No, that's okay. I probably just smell like dinner anyway, with being in the kitchen all evening. And Dawn....didn't I tell you not to use my raspberry perfume?"

Dawn shot William a look. "Thanks a lot!"

Will shrugged. "Now you'll know better than to ask what a vampire smells!" He stood to help Buffy clear the table.

"We got it, William. Sit down and, uh, let the food digest," Willow said as she took William's plate.

"Or let the food eat a hole through your intestinal linings....whatever," Xander whispered.

Tara grabbed her plate, and motioned for Dawn to hand over hers. When Dawn complied, Tara said, "Anya, would you help us take these plates in?"

Anya frowned. "Why would I do that? I'm the guest. I was invited for dinner, not for cleaning."

Tara smiled warmly, if somewhat exasperatedly. "Just need an extra hand. No cleaning, promise."

Anya sighed and shrugged. She picked up her plate and Xander's and followed Tara into the kitchen, leaving Xander, Dawn, and William to sit in rather uncomfortable silence.

"Oh my god! Hottie! You didn't tell us he was SO hot!" Willow said in an excited, hushed tone when the other girls entered the kitchen.

Buffy gawked at Willow and shook her head firmly. She held a finger up to her lips and mouthed the words 'vampire hearing' as she pointed to her ear.

Willow nodded in understanding and pointed to the backdoor. Buffy nodded.

Once the girls were all congregated on the back porch, Anya started. "Oh wow, he really is cute! A little too Billy Idol, but that can be fixed I guess."

Tara nodded. "He is quite easy on the eyes. Not that I'm into guys or anything, but if I was....." Willow nodded in agreement.

Buffy held up her hand. "Before you guys get too far into the 'Yay William' column....he's not interested."

Willow frowned. "What do you mean, 'not interested'?"

Buffy sighed. "I mean....we talked and it's not going to happen. He's not in a place right now where he wants a girlfriend."

Tara smiled. "Well, that may be what he's saying, but he's thinking something else entirely."

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

Willow took over. "Buff....the way he looks at you. He's totally ga-ga over you."

Buffy shook her head. "No. I mean...yeah, we had a connection, and he's not completely UNinterested, but it's just not going to happen. He's kind of, well, sworn off women. It's a whole self-punishment thing he's got going. Don't ask."

"Well, I've found that if men don't do what you want them to do, just be persistent and eventually they'll cave," Anya smiled.

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know. I don't want to push him too hard. But I do kind of like him. A lot." Buffy grinned. "And...and we kissed last night." She waited for the slight gasps from the other girls and continued. "It was the most amazing kiss....I can't even describe it. He's just so.....aaaahhh! I can't! He won't. We shouldn't. I just need to get him out of my head. Which isn't easy to do since we see each other practically every night." Buffy sighed.

"So, you've let him know that you're interested?" Tara asked.

Buffy nodded. "To no avail, I'm afraid."

"Well, at least he knows. The ball's kind of in his court. Maybe if you just....ignore the whole 'should we/shouldn't we' situation, things will just happen. Guys seem to get really interested when women aren't. Not sure why that is."

Willow's eyebrows shot up. "Just how do you know what guys do?"

Tara ducked her head. "I watch the soap opera channel when I can't sleep, sometimes."

Buffy chuckled. "Are you, Tara, queen of nice, telling me to play hard to get?"

Tara shook her head. "No! No, just.....well, like I said, he knows he can be with you if he wants. But maybe if he sees that you're not super focused on him and the being together, and that maybe you're accepting his decision not to pursue something.....I don't know...."

Anya sighed. "She's saying, find a new guy to make William jealous. He'll see what he's missing and come begging for you on his knees."

"I am not saying that. You should never play games with someone's feelings. And you shouldn't use some other poor guy that might really fall for you. Just don't act so interested, is all. It'll confuse him, and maybe intrigue him enough to really think about his feelings and if he'd rather be with your or keep punishing himself."

"Well, might be worth a shot. Maybe I can take more days off from patrolling. Not be on patrol for so long. I just hate that I have to pretend I'm not so into him, just to get him into me. Doesn't seem right," Buffy said.

Willow put her arm around Buffy. "Well, you never know, maybe you won't be pretending before too long. Maybe some other swell fella will sweep you off your feet!"

Buffy sighed as she headed back into the house, her friends in tow.


	8. Chapter8

"So....have you and my sister done it yet?" Dawn asked as she took a sip from her soda.

William choked on nothing. "Um, er, no.....why would you think that?"

Dawn shrugged. "I don't know. Just figured since you guys have been seeing each other for so long...."

"Oh, well, we're not....I mean....we see each other, but we're not...." Will searched for a quick way out of this conversation.

Xander cleared his throat. "Well, I for one hate the idea that Buffy's involved with another vampire. But I've never seen her this happy. Ever. So if you're the guy that does it for her, I guess you're the guy. And, uh, I know it's kind of pointless for me to give a big brother lecture or threaten you or something, seeing as you could probably toss me through the window with one hand....but, well, Buffy's not as tough as she likes to pretend. She's pretty fragile on the inside, and I haven't seen her let anyone get close, not really close, since the last vampire with a soul blew through town. And if she lets you get close, that means something. It's a huge thing for her. I don't know how close you two have gotten, and frankly I don't want to know. Just...I'd just ask that you keep in mind that while she may talk tough, she's one of the most kind people I've met. She could get hurt really easily. Not on the outside, of course. She's like She-Thing on the outside. Not in looks, of course. In looks she's a hottie, but I mean—"

"Xan, we got it. She's tough on the outside and has a soft chewy center on the inside. I think William's got the whole picture and doesn't need you lecturing him about his girlfriend."

"Um, Dawn, did Buffy say we were dating?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "No, she swears you're not. But we've been through this with Angel. We know what looooong patrols with a hot vampire mean."

"Think I'm hot, do you?" William teased as he waggled his eyebrows at Dawn.

Dawn shrugged. "You're okay. Better looking than Angel."

William beamed with pride until Xander said, "Yup."

Xander blushed. "What? I'm just saying....never mind."

"So, anyone want some dessert? I didn't make it!" Buffy said as she entered the dining room.

"Well, Anya and I were actually going to catch a movie, so we need to be heading out," Xander said as he stood from the table.

"Um, we had already planned to take Dawnie out for ice cream," Willow said sheepishly.

Buffy quirked an eyebrow at her. "What? As a reward for surviving my cooking?"

"Well, it was just a tentative plan, in case we didn't survive," Tara joked. Everyone looked at her, stunned. "What? I can't joke?"

Buffy shrugged. "Alright. I guess it's patrolling time for us. William?"

William stood and nodded. "Uh, thanks, everyone. Had a lovely time. Pleasure meeting you all. Especially you, cutie," William winked at Dawn and gave her a grin. Dawn rolled her eyes, but her face beamed a telling blush.

"So, why exactly were you flirting with my baby sister?" Buffy asked as they walked down her sidewalk.

William chuckled. "Just teasing the little bit. I like her. I like all your friends. It's a right nice bunch ya got there."

"Yeah, they're the best. So I was wondering, would you mind if I skipped tomorrow? Kinda need a night off."

William frowned slightly, but recovered quickly. "Of course! Take as much time as you need. You deserve a night off, or two, or however many you need."

Buffy smiled. "One will do for now. Just need some recuperation time. Haven't been to the Bronze in a while. It'll be nice to just hang with my friends. Not worry about the slaying."

William nodded. "The Bronze? That's that club near the center of town, right?"

"Yeah. It was the place to be when we were in high school. I guess it sort of aged with us. It's a good place to have a drink, if that's your thing. Or dance. Or meet....people. You should come some time. Just unwind. Chill out with the Scoobies."

"Scoobies? That a band or something?" William asked.

Buffy chuckled. "No, that's what we all sort of refer to ourselves as. My friends and me. Going around dealing with supernatural stuff. Ya know, Scooby Doo?"

"I know Scooby Doo, thank you very much." William rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, so anyway....I think we'll be there tomorrow. If you want to come hang out. You know, after patrol. Maybe make a short one. Or whatever. It's up to you." Buffy tried to sound nonchalant but came off a bit rambly.

"Ah, well, maybe. I'll see how patrolling goes. And I might have to hang out at Willy's for a bit. We'll see."

Buffy shrugged. "Whatever. No big, just a nice little place to relax." Buffy tried to look at William from the corner of her eye as they walked, trying to read him.

William was wondering if she was inviting him on a date. 'Not a date, you nit. All her mates will be there. You can go. It's just a bit of booze and chit chat. You know you want to, so just soddin' say you'll go.' "Yeah, it sounds nice. I'll have to see what it's like at Willy's, ya know." 'Wanker.'

A full hour earlier than they normally called it quits, Buffy was fake yawning and pleading exhaustion from preparing dinner. "There's nothing out tonight. That H'gdoth demon and a couple of vamps...let's call it a night."

William frowned. 'I'm usually the one forcing her home.' "Uh, yeah. You're probably right. You feeling okay, pet?"

"Oh, sure. Just tired is all. What is it you say? Knackered? 'I'm bloody knackered!'" Buffy attempted in her best William accent.

William chuckled. "That's not supposed to be me, is it?"

Buffy grinned and shrugged, throwing in another yawn for good measure.

"Alright, well, before you take up smoking and grow fangs, we should get you home." William held out his arm to let Buffy lead the way.

"Oh, actually, I'll just walk myself. We're closer to your place anyway. No need for you to go all the way back to my house."

"Uh, well, my bike is kind of still there."

"Oh! Duh, Buffy. Ok, let's walk!"

William shook his head as she took a few strides in front of him. She was never usually this aloof to him. 'She's never wanted to quit patrolling early, and she sure as hell never turned down my offer to walk her home. What's up with her tonight? Oh. Of course. She wanted to spend time with me because she was interested in me. Now that I've effectively shut that down, there's no reason to want to spend more time with me. Well, good. It's for the best. Less I see of her, the better for me.'

When they had reached her house, Buffy just paused briefly by his bike to bid him goodbye and tell him she enjoyed him being at dinner. She took off straight for the door before William could get out his "thanks for inviting me."

'Something's definitely up with the bird. Should I even bother sussing it out?' William kick started his bike to life and headed to his other job.

Of course, the next night found William rushing through his patrol to make sure he had time to shower before going to the Bronze to find Buffy. He tried to stop questioning why he wanted to keep spending time with her when he had told her clearly he didn't want anything more than friendship and a slaying partner. She had a draw of her own. One that seemed to override his ever-present need to punish himself. But it usually led to more self-inflicted pain anyway. Hurting himself for wanting to see her. Hurting himself for not having the willpower to stay away. Hurting himself for jerking off to the thought of her nearly every night.

When he arrived at the Bronze, he tried to pick out her scent. It was difficult to do through all the cologne, perfume, and sweat, but he finally managed it. He went up to the balcony to check out the dance floor. He barely noticed the girls who were trying to flirt with him, so focused on his prey. He finally saw her. He smiled at the sight, and grew hard watching her move. She was dancing by herself, running her hands over her own body. Not obscenely so, but enough to make William growl. 'Maybe she's had a drink or two. She's certainly having fun. Hold on....not by herself. She's not dancing with him....oh, well, if she's not, she certainly doesn't mind him putting his hands on her hips. Her hips! Knock him off, Slayer! Put a wanker sized hole in the floor, for fuck's sake. Or not. Ok, I have to do something. No! I can't just charge up to her like she's mine. She's free to do....whatever it is she's doing with him...a couple nights after she kissed me. Claimed she was interested in me. Right. So easy to forget, am I? Not bloody likely!'

William plowed down the stairs, nearly knocking over a silver-clad waitress in the process. With equal grace, he moved through the dancing crowd until he found Buffy. He stopped himself before he tapped on her shoulder. 'Don't. She's not yours. You told her as much. Let her be. Go home, have a bottle of gin and a wank, and try to sleep for 20 hours. Only thing for it.'

As he turned to go, Buffy caught sight of him. "William! You made it!"

He grimaced, but smiled as he turned to face her. "Yeah, didn't mean to interrupt. I just...."

Buffy waved off his explanation. "You're not! This is Jerry. We went to school in LA together. I haven't seen him in years. Just having a dance. You wanna come sit with us? Have a drink? Of course you do, come on!" Buffy grabbed Jerry with one hand and William with the other and dragged them both to her table where Willow and Xander were sitting.

"Hey William! Glad you could make it." Willow smiled warmly.

"Willow." William nodded in greeting. He spared another nod for Xander who raised his beer to William.

After a few minutes of drunk Buffy singing Jerry's praises, William was really hoping his alcohol tolerance would miraculously drop and his one beer would make him drunk enough to tune her out.

"Yeah, I just thought she was some kind of freak in high school. I guess we all grow up, huh?" Jerry laughed.

Buffy pouted. "I wasn't a freak. I was a slayer!" Willow, Xander, and William froze as Jerry frowned.

"Slayer? What's that?" Jerry asked.

"Oh, I can answer that one, Buffy," William said before Buffy had the chance to explain. "I only say that because I'm from England where being a slayer is a very big thing. Do you know anything about Jai Alai, Jerry?"

"Huh? Never heard of it. Is it some kind of disease?" Jerry answered.

William gave a slight sigh of relief before continuing. "No, it's a sport, actually. And Buffy here was the best slayer in the US. A slayer is kind of like a goal keeper. They call them that because they 'slay' the other teams chances at points. So anyway, Buffy was on the national team. Except she was too young really, so they had to lie about her age, and she couldn't tell anyone she was on the team."

"So that's why you were so weird?" Jerry turned to Buffy.

Buffy was frowning at William, who was by now pleading with his eyes for her to catch on. She did, thankfully. "Yeah. That's why. The things we do for our country, I guess...."

"But why would being in a sport make you burn down the gym?" Jerry asked.

"Oh, um, that....well...." Buffy searched her booze addled brain for an answer.

"Protest. She was protesting that the school didn't have Jai Alai. A bit extreme, but she's our Buffster and we love her!" Xander came through, sort of.

Jerry nodded slowly and began to look anywhere but at the people sitting at the table. "Well, I guess that explains it. Oh, I think I see someone I know. It was really great talking to you again, Buffy. I'll see you around." And like that, Jerry was gone.

Buffy pouted again. "I wanna go home. This sucks majorly."

"Sure, Buff. We just ordered new drinks, so as soon as we drain those, we'll skedaddle," Xander said.

"Oh, hey, I can take her. No reason for you guys to cut your night short. I got my bike. No problem," William offered.

Willow frowned. "Well, it's up to Buffy.....Buffy?"

Buffy looked at William. He gave her a sweet smile. "Ok. I'll go with Will. That'd be Will-YUM and not Will-OH!" Buffy giggled.

William chuckled as he stood and helped Buffy up. "Ok, I think that's a good sign that it's time to leave. See you guys later." Willow and Xander both said good bye and told William to drive carefully with the very drunken slayer.

Buffy stumbled a couple of times, William always close to make sure she didn't fall. When they reached his bike, she started crying.

"Oh now, what's wrong, luv?" William put his arm around her shoulders.

She turned into his embrace and hugged him tightly, still crying. "I am a freak. It's not normal to be a slayer. I just want to be normal but I can't. I'm a freak who scares everyone away. My dad, Angel, Giles, you....." Buffy looked up at William with the saddest face imaginable. "Why doesn't anyone want me?"

She was breaking his heart, and the only thing William could think to do was to lower his head and capture her lips with his. The kiss was painfully long and too soft to be arousing, but it was more about comfort at that moment than anything sexual. William pulled away gently. He brought his hand to her face and wiped away her tears with his thumb. "You are not a freak. You are the most amazing, courageous woman I've ever met. Any man would be a fool not to want you. And I'm no fool, Buffy."

Buffy blinked slowly. "You....you mean, you want me?"

"Yes. I want you. But...." William sighed.

"But you want pain more than you want me. How do I lose to pain? 'Your choices today are torture or Buffy! Torture, you say? Why naturally! Buffy's a freak!'" A new wave of tears started.

William grabbed her by the arms and shook her gently. "Hey now. That's not it at all, and I swear if you call yourself a freak one more time, I'll bite you. Now I've explained it all. And I realize that it sounds like I'm choosing pain over being with you, but....well, I guess I am. Because that's what I deserve. I don't deserve someone like you, pet. You're so far above me, I couldn't even see you with a telescope!"

Buffy looked up at him and sniffed as she wiped at her tears. "That was lame."

William gave a half smile. "Yeah, lame. But true. There's no way I could ever be good enough for you."

"But you already are. Don't you get it? Everything you've done since you got your soul....it's enough. It may not be enough for you, but it's enough for me. Enough for me to see you're a good man and one that I could see myself with. And I'll never be normal or have a normal life. Good grief, when I have sex with a normal guy, I'm always afraid of hurting him. That's no good!" Buffy smiled.

William shook his head and chuckled. "No, that's no good."

"I need a man who is my equal in every way. You've more than proven you could be that guy. If you wanted to be. God, you really don't get it, do you? I want you so much that I can't think of anything else. When we're patrolling, I just want to reach over and hold your hand. After we take down a big demon, I want you to hold me for a minute, because I still get a little shaky after a big fight. And then when you walk me home, I want to bring you inside and make-out with you on the couch like teenagers. I mean, I want R-rated stuff too. Maybe some NC-17 stuff if it's not too shocking for you." Buffy grinned.

William scoffed at her comment. "You have no idea, pet."

"But I do. I have a lot of ideas, and the majority of them require us to be in physical contact for long periods of time. But it's not just lust. I....I have some definite emotions here. I have feelings for you. And as much as you want to, you can't just hide yourself away from feeling something good. You want so much pain and hurt, but you can't live off that. You're trying to do good, but if all you feed yourself is pain, how do you expect to survive? You're already in pain. And I'm not talking about the crap you do to your body." William flinched at that. "Yeah, crap. I said it. It's crap. You're real pain is inside. And you need something to combat that. And more pain isn't the answer. You need love, and maybe I could give that to you, but you won't let me get close enough to try. Hey, I'm putting myself out there too, ya know? You probably think that I'm just saying all this stuff because I'm drunk, and well.....maybe that's true. But it's what I feel, whether you like it or not. And it's not going to change anytime soon. Because as soon as I told myself it was okay to feel something for another vampire, another **man**, I knew I was in too deep already. So there. That's it. That's me and you in a nutshell." Buffy backed away from William on nearly steady feet and spread her arms wide. "Do with it what you will."

'Bloody well stop fucking around. She said it. She's right. Just go for it. The cross and the holy water won't be my salvation, but she just might be. The first woman to truly want me, man and demon. Mind, body, and soul. Took more than a hundred years, but here she is. And I believe her. It's there, in her eyes. Acceptance. And fear. She's afraid I'll reject her. Again. Better be damned sure of this before I take one step toward her. Because if I end up hurting her...might as well stake myself. Wouldn't be able to see the look in her eyes. Gotta be sure. Gotta be bloody well sure. What the fuck. You know you can't stay away from her. You're in too deep too.'

William took a confident stride toward Buffy, her outstretched arms suddenly reaching for him. He wrapped her up in himself. His salvation. His respite from pain. His Slayer. His Buffy. His.

Ok, that's it, folks. Lemme know what ya think!


End file.
